Where I've Been... What I've Been Doing

Hey, guys!

Um... is there anyone left? I've been away for a while, taking a break from blogging and just focusing on other things, so I don't blame you if you've deleted my blog from your reading list. 

I haven't just been chilling, I've actually been quite busy the last few months! Here are some updates from what has happened:

Been busy with school.

Pretty self-explanatory.

I wrote the 1st draft of my novel in November, participating in NaNoWriMo.

And yes, I made it to 50,000 words! I'm so happy and proud of myself for doing that, because to be honest, I did not think I could do it. Now I'm slowly working on the second draft and am psyched to notice the progress I'm making!

I traveled to the United Arab Emirates last month!

We were all sick at some point during the vacation, but had such an amazing trip nonetheless! We spent the first half of our stay in Abu Dhabi, where my friend lives, and it was amazing to see her after 4,5 years. After Abu Dhabi we went to Dubai, and went to see the tallest building in the world among other things. If you'd like me to do a separate post about this trip, let me know! :)

I had a friend visit me from the States.

It can be challenging to see your own country through someone else's eyes and be a good hostess, but I think she enjoyed her stay and she definitely got a taste of the real Finland!

And now I'm back in school. 

Again, pretty self-explanatory.

So that's what's been going on with me. Lately I've been thinking about coming back to blogging, even though at one point I was sure I'd never do it again. I don't know why. But I'm here now. I doubt I'll ever leave for good. 

So, what have y'all been doing???

The Creative Process

It's been a while since I've talked about my favorite subject: writing. Sometimes I feel like my blog is the only place where I can really talk about it; unfortunately I have failed so far in surrounding myself with other people who write. Some of my friends ask about it every once in a while, but I tend to stop myself from talking after a while. Otherwise I will not shut up. Ever. 

The creative process is an interesting thing, and different for every person. What works for one writer, might not work for another, that's a given. Some like listening to music while they write, and speaking of that, make sure to check out this post by Kami McArthur. And listen to that playlist. Uh-mazing! 

Some write and write and write, and then rewrite everything. Nothing is ever good enough.

Some let their friends read their work as soon as one chapter is ready, and some never show their work to anyone. 

Most of us have a wide range of emotions and feelings when it comes to our work. I am loving, hating, liking, and resenting my writing. Sometimes all at once. It can be frustrating, but in the end, when I write something I don't want to erase, it's worth all of it. 

Tästä onkin aikaa, kun olen viimeksi puhunut lempiaiheestani: kirjoittamisesta. Joskus tuntuu, että tämä blogi on ainoa paikka missä voin puhua siitä; valitettavasti olen epäonnistunut haalimaan ympärilleni ihmisiä, jotka myös kirjoittavat. Jotkut ystävistäni kysyvät aiheesta silloin tällöin, mutta yleensä estän itseäni puhumasta liikaa. Muuten suutani ei saisi tukkoon. Ikinä. 

Luomisen prosessi on mielenkiintoinen asia, ja erilainen jokaisella. On selvää, että yhden kirjailijan keinot eivät välttämättä toimi toisella. Jotkut haluavat kuunnella musiikkia kirjoittaessaan, ja kun nyt siitä puhutaan, niin lukaiskaapa tämä postaus, jonka on kirjoittanut Kami McArthur. Ja kuunnelkaa se soittolista. Aivan mahtava!

Jotkut kirjoittavat ja kirjoittavat, ja sitten kirjoittavat saman uudestaan. Mikään ei ikinä riitä. 

Jotkut antavat ystäviensä lukea tekeleitään heti, kun yksi kappale on valmis, toiset taas eivät koskaan näytä töitään muille. 

Useimmat meistä kokevat laajan skaalan tunteita kirjoittamisesta. Minä rakastan, vihaan, pidän ja halveksun omia raapustuksiani. Joskus tunnen tätä kaikkea samaan aikaan. Se voi olla hyvin turhauttavaa, mutta loppujen lopuksi, kun saan aikaiseksi jotain, mitä en halua pyyhkiä, se on kaiken arvoista. 

Bon Voyage to me!

Hey guys! 

Two weeks of vacation behind, two more ahead. I am happy and relaxed. Only slightly stressed due to packing, because tomorrow it's LONDON, BABY! I am sooooo freakin' excited to go, and cannot wait to get there! I love London so much, and it has been a while since my last visit. Lately I've been so preoccupied with everything else I haven't even had time to think about this trip, and it's sort of just hitting me now. I've been slowly packing my stuff for the last few hours and I'm mostly done! :) Only a few more things that will have to wait until tomorrow morning. My flight is at 4.25pm, which is a nice change. I usually find myself flying at inhumane times.. Anyways, most likely I will not be blogging during my trip, but will surely share everything with ya afterwards! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram (@grasshopper89) for daily updates! 

Heippa vaan kaikille! 

Kaksi viikkoa lomaa takana, kaksi edessä. Täällä kirjoittelee onnellinen ja rentoutunut tyttönen. Ihan pikkuinen stressi päällä pakkaamisen takia; huomenna suuntana LONTOO! Olen niiiiiiin niiiiin innoissani menossa takaisin sinne pitkän ajan jälkeen! Viime aikoina olen ollut niin kiireinen, etten ole ehtinyt uhrata ajatustakaan Lontoolle, joten kaikki vähän niin kuin iski päin näköä tänään. Olen tässä viime tuntien aikana hitaasti pakkaillut ja melkein valmista on jo! :) Vain jotain pientä pakattavaa enää, tavaroita joita en voi pakata ennen huomisaamua. Lento lähtee huomenna klo 16.25, mikä on mukavaa vaihtelua. Yleensä olen lentänyt hyvin epäinhimillisinä aikoina.. No mutta, en usko että bloggailen reissun aikana, mutta todellakin tulen täällä jakamaan kaiken jälkeenpäin! Älkääkä unohtako seurata mua Instagramissa (@grasshopper89), jonne laittelen joka päivä kuvia!

I chopped my hair a few days ago! Lost maybe 30cm.. But I love it! What do you think? :)

About 100 Happy Days

On April I took part in the 100 Happy Days challenge and yesterday, on the 24th of July, my 100 days were full. 

The idea of the challenge is to pick your platform and post a picture of something that makes you happy every day for 100 days. It can be anything; food, friends, places, books, etc. If it makes you happy, post it and share it with everyone! I am happy to report that I succeeded in this and as far as I know I never skipped a day. I posted my pictures on Instagram (@grasshopper89) and also shared some of my thoughts here on my blog. You can find them under the tag 100 Happy Days. 

I'm proud of myself for doing this. It wasn't always easy, but I did it, and this certainly reminded me that no matter how awful my day was, there was always something good in it. This challenge made me look for those things. Some days were easier than others. But every day I was happy about something. Not all day every day, but every day. I encourage you all to take part in this, because I really feel it has made a positive difference in the way I see things. 

Huhtikuussa osallistuin 100 Happy Days -haasteeseen, ja eilen, 24. heinäkuuta, minun 100 päivääni tulivat täyteen.

Ideana on valita jokin sosiaalisen median sivusto, ja julkaista kyseisellä sivulla joka päivä kuva jostain, mikä tekee sinut onnelliseksi, ja jatkaa tätä 100 päivän ajan. Se voi olla mitä vain; ruokaa, ystäviä, paikkoja, kirjoja tms. Jos se tekee sinut onnelliseksi, postaa se ja jaa muiden kanssa! Olen erittäin iloinen voidessani kertoa, että onnistuin haasteessa ja ainakaan omien tietojen mukaan yksikään päivä ei jäänyt välistä. Julkaisin kuvani Instagramissa (@grasshopper89), ja jaoin myös joitakin ajatuksiani täällä blogissa. Kyseiset kirjoitukset löytyvät 100 Happy Days -tagin alta. 

Olen ylpeä itsestäni ja siitä että onnistuin. Se ei aina ollut helppoa, mutta tein sen, ja tämä tosiaan muistutti minua, että olipa päiväni kuinka huono tahansa, siinä oli aina jotain hyvääkin. Tämä haaste pakotti minut etsimään noita asioita. Jotkut päivät olivat helpompia kuin toiset. Mutta joka päivä olin onnellinen jostain. En koko päivää joka päivä, mutta joka päivä. Haastankin nyt teidät kaikki ottamaan osaa tähän, koska ainakin itsessäni näen erittäin positiivisen muutoksen. 

You can find more information HERE.

What's Going On, World?

Well, haven't written here in ages... Summer has taken all my time. Work, friends, barbecue, strawberries, ice cream, endless light. Summer is such an amazing time. Especially when one gets to enjoy it to the fullest. Guess who only has three more days of work left until vacation! Sweet freedom starts on Monday, my four-week summer vacation, which I've already almost booked full. I'm having a friend over from Germany, I will be traveling to London and I get to just hang around. You have no idea how much I need a vacay. I will surely update the blog at some point as well, and hopefully by the fall I will get back to regular blogging. 

Oh, and I already booked a winter vacation, too (because why not?). Abu Dhabi and Dubai are calling for me in December! :)

No ei ole tänne tullut kirjoiteltua taas aikoihin... Kesä on vienyt kaiken ajan. Töitä, kavereita, grillausta, mansikoita, jäätelöä, loputonta valoa. Kesä on mahtavaa aikaa. Varsinkin, kun siitä pääsee nauttimaan kunnolla. Minullapa on enää kolme työpäivää jäljellä ennen lomaa! Maanantaina koittaa suloinen vapaus, neljän viikon kesäloma. Se onkin melkein täyteen buukattu; saan vieraan Saksasta, lähden Lontooseen ja saan vaan olla. Te ette tajuakaan, miten olen loman tarpeessa. Kuulumisia varmasti päivittelen tänne jossain vaiheessa, ja toivottavasti syksyn mittaan pääsen taas säännöllisen bloggailun makuun. 

Ainiin, tulihan sitä jo talvilomakin varattua (koska miksipäs ei?). Abu Dhabi ja Dubai kutsuvat joulukuussa! :)

Changes(?)

All right. I've been thinking, guys... Sweet Mother of Chaos needs some changes. 

"Why?" you may ask.

Well... changing it into something new and better not only improves my motivation but also (hopefully) raises the amount of readers. Also, I want to make the blog more suiting to my current lifestyle and to everything that's going on. My summer vacation is on in just a few weeks, and after it's over, I only have two weeks until I go back to school. Not having studied in three years, it's going to be a big change for me :) a good one, I hope.

I also want to change the name of this blog. Any suggestions? 

Whatever it will be, I want my name to be in it (even if it's just something like sweet mother of chaos by iira). SMOC has been a a lot of fun, and this blog ain't going nowhere, it's just going to be updated. I wanted to give you guys a heads up. Obviously, changes in the appearance of this blog only concern Blogger, and not Glipho. My readers in the latter will only notice changes in the content of the blog. 

I hope you're having a slammin' week so far. I'm in the middle of a long stretch of work, but it's all good. Been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I wonder if my upcoming vacation has something to do with that ;) 

Today I went to see Maleficent at long last, and I have to say, it was awesome! Not what I expected, much better. 

Talk to you later, lovelies :)

Where I've Been

Sooo.. You may or may not have noticed I've stayed away from the blogging world for a while now. 19 days to be exact. 

In case you're wondering, I've done so intentionally. Not that I had too many brilliant ideas for upcoming posts, but my lack of motivation did strike at a good time for once. To be honest, I grew a little tired of blogging, because I felt like nothing was happening. Let's face it; where's the fun when no one reads your blog or writes their own? 

I hate to rant, so I'll just leave it at that, and tell you what I've been up to in the past few weeks. 

Nothing too significant has happened. I know, right? Kinda boring. While not wanting to blog, I didn't really have a reason to, either. I did book bus tickets and hotels with my friend Minna, for our upcoming trip to London! That's always exciting and fun :) Only a little over a month to go! We are super excited and happy about that. 

I've also been visiting friends, went to see an apartment I will be moving in in the fall, have made some plans as to how I will decorate it, I've done some reading and watched a lot of Orange Is The New Black, The Nanny, and Disappeared. I made a little trip to Staples with my mom, to check out what I would need when school starts. I swear, Staples is my heaven. I LOVE office supplies. 

I can't say I've enjoyed summer, because the weather is nothing like summer... it's been very cold and rainy so far, and I can only hope it'll get better by the time my vacation starts, which is July 21st. I'm having a friend over from Germany, and I would love for her to see how lovely Finland can be in the summer :)

This week I've been sick, and spent a few days at my mom's new house in the country side. Even though the weather sucks, she still found wild strawberries from her yard :) so yummy! 

So yeah, that's what's happening. I'm still a little ill, running a little temperature and coughing. I'll return to work this Saturday, though, and can't wait to get back to some kinda routine. Tomorrow I'm getting together with some old co-workers and that ought to be a lot of fun! 

And what comes to my blog's future; I honestly have no idea. I'm sure I won't stop, I just love this too much. I'm excited to share certain things with you, and would love to get back to regular blogging, but right now I can't make any promises. While I love blogging, I also loved not having to stress about it for 19 days. 

If you're reading this, and happen to have good tips on blogging (ideas, how to not give up, etc.), then please leave a comment below. Love you all for reading, and still remaining in my list of followers. It means a lot. 

Hope you're all having a good week so far!

TBT: Home Sweet Home

Hello, lovelies!

Today has been a very emotional day. More so than I expected.

This spring my mother has been renovating her late grandmother's old house, and today she moved in. Today I said goodbye to my childhood home. 

It was weird seeing the house so empty, when just a little while ago it was full of stuff, and full of life. I have so many wonderful memories from there, and those will never go away, of course, but still it was very sad to leave. Even though I haven't lived there in five years, my mom has, and the house was always there for me and my brother to go back to when we felt lonely and wanted company. 

I lived there for 19,5 years. My mother lived there for almost 25 years. When we were kids, my mom attached glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceilings in the bedrooms, and when the lights went out, we fell asleep under those stars. I could go on and on about my happy childhood memories, but you get the picture, right? I'm very blessed to have had such a great childhood and a happy home, and I don't take those things for granted. 

My mom felt it was time to move on, and seeing her so happy and content now makes me feel happy, too. The old home was our home, and her current house is her home. It's time for another family to make memories in the old home. 

The new house has apple trees on the yard, that are in full bloom now. I'll go steal some apples in the fall. 

Now we have another home to go to :) I can't wait to make new memories there!

May Favorites

TV & MOVIES

I have all ten seasons of Friends on DVD, and what can I tell ya.. probably one of the best sit coms of all time. My brother was borrowing the DVD box for a loooong time, and I finally got it back. And watched all of the seasons, back to back. I know, right? No life. 

MUSIC

Lucy Hale - Road Between

Emeli Sandé - Read All About It

FOOD

We got to enjoy a pretty amazing weather here in Finland. For about a week, and now it's cold again. But anyways, during this weather wise weird week I had six days off (I know, right?!) and I got to enjoy the company of my friends and had a loooooooot of ice cream. Yummy!

MAKE-UP & BEAUTY

Primo Self Tanning face lotion by Dermosil. I've never used self tanning lotions before, and I don't intend to start, BUT, this one only gives your face a light, beautiful summery glow. We're not talking about a strong tan here, just some color ;) For us white people in the North, this lotion is perfect! The result is natural and the lotion doesn't leave any awkward lines on your skin. 

BOOKS

I read Lauren Oliver's latest novel, Panic. The plot was absolutely thrilling; young people facing their worst fears in a game that came to be because there was nothing else to do in a small town. 

I'm a fan of Oliver's other books, too, and this one wasn't a disappointment either! She has a unique way to depict young peoples' lives. Make sure to check this book out!

I usually prefer to read the book first before I go see the movie, but I admit I hadn't even heard about Divergent until they started promoting the movie. I'm so off the wagon when it comes to YA literature right now... My reading has taken a hit lately, but I'm working on fixing that. So yeah, I went to see the movie and loved it, and bought the book the same day. I'm now reading it and loving it so far. I think I might have to go out and buy the other two books as well :P

These were my monthly favorites from May! What do you guys think? I know there's not much to promote now, but it's been kinda slow. Again. I have received some VERY GOOD NEWS this month, but instead of sharing them in this post, I will be doing a whole separate post about them. Stay tuned ;) 

TMI Tag!

1. What are you wearing?

A black tank top, black&white capri pants. That's it! 

2. Ever been in love?

No, that has not happened to me yet. Still waiting. 

3. Ever had a terrible break-up?

Nope.

4. How tall are you?

I am about 5'9 (176cm)

5. How much do you weigh?

Not a question you ask a lady ;) haha but seriously I don't even know at the moment. 

6. Any tattoos?

Not yet at least. I have thought of getting one, but still deciding.

7. Any piercings?

Three on both ears. So six. 

8. OTP?

Ezria!

9. Favorite show?

Ready? Here we go (in no particular order): Pretty Little Liars, 2 Broke Girls, Revolution, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, 30 Rock, Friends, HIMYM... 

10. Favorite bands?

Not as into bands as individual singers.. but let's say Strange Familiar and Lifehouse. 

11. Something you miss?

My friends in the USA. USA in general. My friends in other parts of the world. 

12. Favorite song?

Currently Emeli Sande's Read All About It and Sara Bareilles' Brave. 

13. How old are you?

I will be 25 really soon.

14. Zodiac sign?

Gemini. But I think they're a load of horse crap, so my zodiac sign has absolutely no meaning to me. 

15. Quality you look for in a partner?

Sense of humor.

16. Favorite quote?

If You Want to be Happy, be. 

17. Favorite actor?

Elizabeth Mitchell, Meryl Streep, Emma Stone, Rebel Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Kat Dennings, Cate Blanchett + a bunch of male actors, too, but let's go with girl power now. 

18. Favorite color?

Pink

19. Loud or soft music?

Soft. 

20. Where do you go when you're sad?

Bed. 

21. How long does it take you to shower?

3-10 minutes, depending on whether I need to wash my hair, shave etc. :D 

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

About 15 minutes. 

23. Ever been in a physical fight?

Maybe as a little kid. Not in a bad one, I think I would remember that. 

24. Turn on?

Intelligence. 

25. Turn off?

Ignorance.

26. The reason you joined YouTube?

Hahahaha. Wanted to make YouTube videos. Didn't exactly succeed.

27. Fears?

Losing my loved ones. Heights. Bugs. Failure. 

28. The last thing that made you cry?

Probably some movie or TV show. 

29. Last time you said you love someone?

A little while ago to my mom. 

30. Meaning behind your YouTube -name?

No special meaning. 

31. Last book you read?

Panic by Lauren Oliver.

32. The book you're currently reading?

Divergent by Veronica Roth.

33. Last show you watched?

Modern Family.

34. Last person you talked to?

Mom. 

35. The relationship between you and the last person you texted?

Very, very good friends :)

36. Favorite food?

Pasta.

37. Place you want to visit?

All of the States, Australia, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, Kenya, Austria, Italy, Scotland, China, Japan, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Cook Islands...

38. Last place you were?

What are we talking about here? Literally, the last place I went to was the bathroom. A place outside my apartment: grocery store. A place outside Finland: Germany. 

39. Do you have a crush?

Not really.

40. Last time you kissed someone?

I gave my cat a big smooch the other day ;D 

41. Last time you were insulted?

Probably happens all the time. The Internet is a vicious place.

42. Favorite flavor of sweet?

I wouldn't call it a sweet, but salty licorice. 

43. What instruments do you play?

Guitar. 

44. Favorite piece of jewelry?

Earrings. Almost any earrings. 

45. Last sport you played?

HAHAHAHHAHA. Oh, seriously? I took a walk. 

46. Last song you sang?

I think it was Ni Una Sola Palabra by Paulina Rubios. 

47. Favorite pick up line?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

48. Have you ever used it?

OhmygodNO

49. Last time you hung out with anyone?

Today, went to see my momma, who's a little ill. Getting better:)

50. Who should answer these questions next?

You.

TBT: Our Group of Four

I was thinking about some of my closest friends the other day. Wondering what the heck happened to us. 

Life happened, I guess. 

There were four of us, and we were very close. We knew everything about each other and our girls' nights were legendary. Gosh, I miss those times! 

There was a point when we were all living in different cities, and then closer again. Now one of us is married and living pretty far away. Two of us live within 15 minutes from each other, and one an hour away. I'm still blessed that I get to call them my friends, but as a group we haven't been together in... almost 18 months. It's kinda sad, but like I said: life happened. 

What is friendship? Really? 

To me, it's when friends don't judge each other by their mistakes. When they listen to your problems and do their best to help. If they can't help, listening is enough. It's when they see each other, they can pick up from where they left off the last time. When there's no awkwardness. When they have fights, realizing it started because they care for each other. It's when one look is enough to tell them all they need to know. When their secrets become your secrets. It's group-chatting online. Laughing and crying at the same time. Hiding each other's phones so no one can do anything stupid. Making a complete fool out of yourself knowing that there's nothing that can make them not love you. 

It's the need to see each other after a long time, and the wanting to make that happen. 

When I see them, we continue from where we left off the last time. Sometimes I get a little anxious before seeing someone I haven't seen in a while, afraid that we will run out of things to talk about, afraid that time has erased our friendship. But that doesn't happen with real friends. I may not have a lot of people in my life that I get to call true, ultimate friends, but the ones I have, are not going anywhere, and I will always be there for them, too. 

I will always miss the times I had with this group, and who knows, maybe one day we will all be reunited and have one more fabulous girls' night. 

SO MUCH TO SAY! Too Much.

I don't talk about my writing that much with my friends. Most of them know I love to write, they know I would love to be a published author, but for some reason it's not a subject that comes up often. I always hear how writers should surround themselves with people who share the same passion, and I too think it's extremely important. But I don't actually mind that my friends don't ask too many questions. When it comes to my writing, I'm very private. I haven't shared the details of my novel with anyone so far, and won't be doing so in a long time. 

But when it comes to talking about writing in general, I could go on and on. 

Which is probably why my friends know to keep their mouths shut ;)

There are a couple of beautiful souls in my life who still ask me how my writing is going on a regular basis. They are the two people I've promised will be the first two to read my novel when it's finished. 

I could not appreciate their interest and input more, even though I can't share too much information. You know who you are, and if you're reading this, I love you for putting up with my endless rambling about writing. I rarely get to do it outside my blog. 

And you, my precious reader, I love you as well. Thank you for sticking up with me. 

Have a beautiful week <3

Happy May: Summer & New Things!

Hi guys!

Ah! I am sorry for totally neglecting my blog and you all for soooo long. This past week I worked for six days, including today, and I hurt my back yesterday morning.. sad face here. It's much better already and I think within a couple of more days I will feel as good as new. Which is perfect, because SUMMER HAS FINALLY ARRIVED TO THE ARCTIC!

I am loving the warm weather, and am so happy I actually get to enjoy it, because I won't be working again until Saturday! Five whole days off! I'm psyched! 

Here's an Instagram picture from a few days ago, my hair has gotten so long! Yay!

My plan for the next five days is:

*writing

*enjoying the summer

*see some friends

*clean my apartment (I really have to...)

I do have another reason I haven't been blogging lately, but I can't share too much yet, because nothing is for sure yet... Let's just say I was working on another writing project and it might actually lead to something very exciting! :) I will definitely keep you posted. I don't know much yet, and am hoping to hear something within a week or so. 

Other than this my life hasn't been all that exciting lately, same old, same old. I am now cat sitting for my mom, as she is in Brussels for business, and I'm enjoying my time with that cute little hairball<3

I hope you all have had a great week! 

I snapped this picture the other night at 11pm. So light outside, I love it!!! :) 

Talk to you later!

Nothing Is Happening

So far April has been kinda slow on the blog front, sorry about that. I've been studying, hanging out, and unfortunately I've also been suffering from some sort of a writer's block. Both with the blog and with my novel. It sucks, but who said life was perfect?

I finally got to put in a request for my summer vacation dates. I have a full 4-week vacation ahead of me this summer, and if all goes as planned, I get to have all those weeks together in a binge and start sometime in July. And naturally, I have some traveling planned ;) Can't wait to share with you guys, but it'll have to wait until the end of May/the beginning of June. At the moment even I don't know for sure what my destination will be. 

What else.. Did any of you lose Instagram followers due to the new update? I lost 91... and flipped until I realized it was for the best of course :D but still.. 209 looked a lot better than 118. 

Aaaaand... yeah, I told you April has been slow. There hasn't really been any significant changes or events in my life within the past couple of weeks, and that has drained my urge to blog a little. I do want to let you know that until next Wednesday I will be busier than usual, because I have to study for the entrance exams, but after the 23rd my life will get back to being pretty care-free and I can focus more on you guys :) 

Sorry for the boring post, but I had to write something. I hope your week will be smashing and I will get back to you asap! Love you! 

Express Yourself April: Messy. Cluttered.

I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm an extremely messy person. If you didn't know that before, now you do. 

I don't know what it is, but I freaking hate cleaning more than anything in this world. 

My parents had more than enough cleaning-related genes to pass on, but they were all given to my brother. Well, they paid for that. 

I can't live in a perfectly organized, neat environment. I need the clutter around me. I'm not saying I want to live in the middle of garbage piles (don't forget there's a difference between messy and dirty), but I feel so much more inspired and alive when I see signs of life in my apartment. You know how they say that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life? I live by that. If you wanna keep everything clean and never wanna see dust on your furniture, be my guest, I'm not here to judge. I'm just trying to explain my own view, because a lot of people seem to think being messy is something that should be punished by law. 

I know where my things are. When I was still living at home, my mom would clean up after me and move my things and then blame me for losing them due to being so messy. Sorry, mom, you totally did. I still love you. But I control my own chaos. I know which pile of stuff contains my bills that need to be paid. I know I can find that red shirt from under that pile of pillows, I know my comforter is put out of the way in a box labeled 'books'. That's just how I choose to live. I don't stress about cleaning up, I don't care if I have a ton of dishes to do; I'll do them when I do them. 

I'm a creative person in every meaning of the word, and I love it. And I'd rather spend my time doing something else than worrying about my apartment being too messy. It'll always be messy, unless I get rid of everything I own. 

A friend of mine once said it was sort of endearing, when she saw my room. 

Yeah, I think so too ;)

Have a great weekend! <3

TAG: The Common White Girl

I've seen this tag on YouTube by some of my favorite vloggers, but since I haven't developed any skills in vlogging I thought I'd do this tag in writing! 

I think it's a fun tag, and no, I have absolutely no idea why it's called the common white girl tag, but it's not meant to offend anyone in any way, so please just sit back and enjoy! :) And, if you feel up to it, do the tag and leave me a link to it in the comment section!

1. What is your favorite Starbucks drink?

I don't have just one.. gosh. Ok, so my favorites are: Caramel Macchiato with the caramel and vanilla flavors reduced by half, a Vanilla Frappuccino, and an Iced Tazo Tea lemonade, passion -flavor and sweetened. 

2. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

10-30 minutes, depending on where I'm going and what I will be doing.

3. How many selfies do you take on a daily basis?

0-10 :D I only take selfies when I feel pretty. That's when I take a lot of selfies and try to decide which one will be my new profile pic. Sad. 

4. How many Instagram pics and followers do you have?

Currently I have 429 pictures and 209 followers. 

5. Do you ever say 'LOL' or 'OMG' out loud?

No. On a rare occasion I might say them as a joke, but I never say them seriously. But I do write 'lol' sometimes. Rarely 'omg'. OMG. 

6. Do you wear the same clothing item more than once?

Yes. I can't afford to be buying new clothes all the time :D 

7. Are you racist?

Extremely. COME ON! What kind of a question is this?! Of course I'm not racist. 

8. How many tweets do you have?

I don't really use my Twitter account... I don't have the energy to look up how many times I tweeted when I started, but it's something between 20-30. 

9. Instagram, Twitter or Tumblr?

INSTAGRAM! I'm so addicted, I just love it. I don't really get Twitter and especially not Tumblr. 

10. What do you spend most of your time doing?

Wondering about stuff. Watching TV Shows, writing, blogging... 

11. Who are your favorite YouTubers?

Nikki Phillippi

Grav3yardgirl

Jenna Marbles

Beautybaby44

That's a few :) You should check them out!

12. How often do you do your nails?

Um... never :( sadly, my work doesn't allow me to wear any nail polish or have long nails, so I can't really do my nails. Sometimes I do grow them out for a vacation. 

13. Are you a shopaholic?

Definitely not.

14. How many times have you watched Mean Girls?

Probably about twenty times.

15. Do you own a lot of clothes?

Yes. And I only wear a fraction of them. So in a way, no.

16. Do you take pictures of your food before you eat it?

I'm so busy to eat it, I rarely remember to take pics of my food. Unless it looks totally amazing, in which case I do have to brag and put it all over the social media. 

17. Do you wear make-up every day?

Yes. Unless I'm sick. 

18. What are your average grades at school?

I'm not at school at the moment, but I was always a good student. A little above average I think :D 

19. How do you usually style your hair?

Messy bun. I always keep my hair tied and out of the way unless I have a day off and I'm going to places and want to look nice :D 

20. Do you always look presentable?

HAHAAHAHAHAHA. No. 

What Blogging Means To Me

I used to play soccer for a little while a  couple of times a week. I was maybe eleven or twelve. When I was twelve I went to Street Dance classes for a few months. These two were hobbies that I liked and hoped to have continued, but unfortunately they were very expensive and I didn't have the chance to keep practicing them for much longer.

 Ever since I was a little kid I loved to draw. Over time I became very good at it. I never wanted to turn it into something I would get paid for - a job - even though I was encouraged to do so, but oh how I loved it. I've been told I inherited my artistic abilities from my grandmother, who died when I was three. It's a shame I didn't get to know her, I have a feeling she and I would have been close. 

As I grew older, drawing became only one of my hobbies. Sadly, nowadays I don't really draw anymore. I think it's been over a year since I last did. I have been thinking about it lately, and might start again. I will show you the results if I ever get back to it :)

If you've been reading my scribblings for a while, you know that I started writing as a hobby when I was ten years old. I don't think I've ever told how it all started, though.

One day my friend at school showed me a one-page horror story she had written the previous night. I thought it was the most awesome thing ever, so that night I wrote my own horror story and I brought it to school the next day for my friend to see. This went on for a while; we would write these one-page stories for each other to read and eventually we started writing longer stories, some together and some alone. It was my favorite thing to do, and every time when we had to write something in school, essays or stories or whatever, I remember being very excited. Suddenly I had this thing in my life that  I could do whenever I wanted, much like drawing, something that was free and allowed me to develop my imagination and see where it would lead me.

Well... almost 15 years later, here I am, blogging. This, sitting on my couch at 10pm, after a long day, writing a blog post for you guys, this is where it has led me. It has led me into writing a novel. It has led me into the wonders of creating characters and other worlds.
And every time I take a seat and get to write, whether it's for you guys or just for myself, I'm so very happy.

I've never been into writing diaries, some journals with deeper thoughts than what I had for breakfast, but they didn't really last either. But blogging is different. It's me writing about me, about others, about life in general, about random things like traveling, art, writing, movies, music etc., and most importantly it's me expressing myself. Sometimes I feel a bit down if my reading stats are low, but I always try to remember that I'm not only doing this for you, I'm doing this for me too. And sometimes it's not easy to write, but blogging and writing in general is by far my most valued hobby. Hopefully one day it'll be more than a hobby, but I won't stress over that at all. Who knows what will happen? Sitting on my couch or wherever with my laptop, I'm the happiest. And I feel so blessed to have found that something that makes me so happy. I hope my happiness is transferred to you through my writing.

Sweet Mother of Chaos' first anniversary is just around the corner. I've been blogging since the end of 2010, but this blog is only a year old. I want to come up with something special, any ideas? :)

Thanks so much for reading! I hope your week is off to a great start!
Talk to you later <3

My #GoDoFly Story Is Out!

In some of my recent posts I've mentioned that I got the chance to collaborate with another blogger, and today I can finally show you what we worked on!

Please, go check out www.thealwaysbeliever.com for other stories besides mine and help spread the #GoDoFly -Movement. I have copy-pasted my story to share here, too, but my story is just one of the many. The movement is new, but let's hope it will keep on growing into something huge! If you are interested in taking part in it, you'll find contact information on the website. 

My story isn't the happiest of stories, but it is definitely turning into one. I hope you'll find the time to read it and let me know what you think. Thank you! 

1. How do you define yourself?

I would define myself as kind, fun-loving, and somewhat of a loner. I’m a big dreamer and sometimes can be very impulsive. 

2- What is your #GoDoFly story?

A few years ago I was struggling with school, friendships, and had absolutely no idea what would happen after graduation. I had no prospect of a job, nor any certainty of getting a spot at another school in the fall. It takes less to drive me crazy; I stress over little things, but these were all huge shadows over my head.

I don’t share my feelings easily with others. This is something I know my friends find frustrating sometimes. Even I find it frustrating. I just can’t get the words out, and sometimes it’s just so much easier to say I’m fine, even though I’m not, and hope there won’t be any follow-up questions. Telling this story isn’t easy, either, but I’m thinking if it’ll help even one person, it’s totally worth every effort.

As the spring progressed, so did my stress-levels. Our class was dysfunctional and we didn’t get along with each other. I only had two friends at school, and thinking back, I feel very fortunate to have had them. School came to an end soon, but about a week before that I managed to land a job for the summer. It wasn’t what I had hoped for, and the pay wasn’t great, either, but it was a job and I could pay the bills. So I took it. My boss was even kind enough to give me two weeks off for our family vacation that had already been organized way before. That trip turned out to be the only good thing about that summer.

The job wasn’t easy, but I made it to the end of my contract. I also paid the price for that. My days were from 6.30am until 5pm, leaving me exhausted when I finally got home, often too tired to make any plans with anyone. Sometimes a friend would call me and ask me to join her, but with an hour’s notice I didn’t want to do anything, nor was I really up for it. Eventually my friends stopped asking, and so did I. I was tired all the time, I was stressed, and I was everything but happy. A small thing, like too hot a weather or forgetting to tape a TV show, was enough to make me cry. I wasn’t sleeping well, and it felt like there was a monster inside of me all the time, making it hard for me to even try and be happier, causing endless anxiety and suffocating me.

Not seeing much of my friends that summer, they had no idea what I was going through. Remember, what I told you about not being good at sharing? I didn’t see the point in telling them, or anyone else. But, fortunately, my mother noticed I wasn’t fine. She called me one day, and said she’d like to stop by on her way to work. It was a Saturday, and I was at home alone, having bawled my eyes out because a few of my friends had gone to a theme park and it hadn’t even occurred to them to ask me. I told my mom she didn’t have to come, but she insisted, and said she would bring some food, too, even though I couldn’t even think about eating when I was feeling so miserable. Half an hour later she was behind my door with two Big Macs, and she sat me down on my couch, and we talked. Well, she talked, and I cried. I knew I wasn’t fine, of course. So did she. It was clear that I was going through some form of depression and we talked about my options.

What I really remember from that day is that after my mom left, a huge weight left with her. All I had really needed was someone to talk to, to have someone understand and care. That day I hit my very bottom and it was uphill from there. Of course, I wasn’t miraculously healed. It took a lot of time and patience, and eventually I even told a couple of friends what had been going on. And I did it without them asking, which was a big step for me. I’m known as the quiet one among my friends, I really don’t talk too much. After all of that, I sort of forced myself to start, and I’m glad I did. After my mom left my apartment that day, I inhaled that Big Mac. It tasted pretty darn good.

I got into school that fall. I started doing better, and made new friends. I was so much happier, and realized the amazing power of positive thinking. I realized there was no point in dwelling in the past, or worry about the things that were still far ahead. I focused into everything that was good in my life. I know there are people with far more serious problems, and that maybe I even got off easy. Yeah, maybe I did. But what I also took from that experience is that one should never diminish someone else’s issues. Everyone has their ordeals and hardships, and if it’s something that makes them scared and desperate, it’s a big deal, no matter what it is. All we can do is our best.

Find what it is that you want to do with your life. Then make it happen.

For me it has always been writing, but I don’t think I really grasped that until all of this. I started blogging at the end of that year, and it has literally changed my life, even though blogging hasn’t become anything more to me than a hobby. Maybe one day it will, who knows. For now I’m just happy I can express myself through writing, and I’m also working on my first novel. My outlook on life is definitely different from what it was a few years ago, and I can look back at what I went through as something that taught me the value of my life and myself.

Thank you for reading

3. What made you realize you needed a change the most?

-Overall I wasn’t feeling good about myself or my life, and then realized something had to be done in order for me to begin recovery. Recognizing that I was dealing with depression was step one. After that it wasn’t easy, but a little easier. I didn’t want to feel so bad all the time, and I knew I couldn’t expect others to just pick me up; I would have to meet them half way. 

4. Do you talk more to your friends right away now?

- Yes. Nowadays, if something is bothering me, I’m actually really bad at keeping it a secret. I still stress very easily, and having the stress building up makes me too anxious – I just have to open my mouth. 

5. What can you say to those who are too shy to speak about their feelings?

-Honestly, saying something like “just talk” would be inconsiderate; there’s a reason one can’t find the words to say to another, even though the reason might not be so clear. I know it can be very hard to open up to other people, and even though I finally spoke up, it doesn’t mean I’m now good at it. Sure, I talk more, but sometimes I still find it awkward. It’s actually one of the reasons I love blogging so much; it’s my way to scream things to the Universe. So my advice would be: try to find an outlet you’re comfortable with. Maybe it’s writing a letter to someone? It can be anything you want, as long as you don’t let yourself be alone with your problems anymore. I promise, you will feel relieved and a whole lot better, when you let someone in. 

6. What made you keep going and keeps you inspired?

- I could see the progress I was gradually making, and that pushed me forward. I was feeling better and finding new exciting things to focus on. What keep me inspired are new challenges, a positive attitude, and my friends and family. 

7. Have you had another downfall since then or have you gradually gotten out of it?

- I haven’t reached that low point again, and I’m so happy for that. I get sad and feel down every once in a while, just like everyone else. I also feel like I have a tendency to a deeper sadness; if one thing goes wrong I easily feel like everything else is wrong too, and suddenly I remember all the bad things that have ever happened to me. That snowball effect… So I still have things to work on, but mostly I am a happy person 

8. What do you want to do with your future and writing?

- I want to keep writing and be a published author one day. I get such a thrill from writing and who knows, maybe my blog will become bigger some day, too. I’m just hoping to make a living doing something I love, and maybe make even a little difference. 

9. Any other advice?

- A ton. Assumed you want them, make sure to subscribe to my blog! But in all seriousness, learn to love yourself and remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. And remember, there will always be people who care about you. 

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