Express Yourself April: Messy. Cluttered.

I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm an extremely messy person. If you didn't know that before, now you do. 

I don't know what it is, but I freaking hate cleaning more than anything in this world. 

My parents had more than enough cleaning-related genes to pass on, but they were all given to my brother. Well, they paid for that. 

I can't live in a perfectly organized, neat environment. I need the clutter around me. I'm not saying I want to live in the middle of garbage piles (don't forget there's a difference between messy and dirty), but I feel so much more inspired and alive when I see signs of life in my apartment. You know how they say that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life? I live by that. If you wanna keep everything clean and never wanna see dust on your furniture, be my guest, I'm not here to judge. I'm just trying to explain my own view, because a lot of people seem to think being messy is something that should be punished by law. 

I know where my things are. When I was still living at home, my mom would clean up after me and move my things and then blame me for losing them due to being so messy. Sorry, mom, you totally did. I still love you. But I control my own chaos. I know which pile of stuff contains my bills that need to be paid. I know I can find that red shirt from under that pile of pillows, I know my comforter is put out of the way in a box labeled 'books'. That's just how I choose to live. I don't stress about cleaning up, I don't care if I have a ton of dishes to do; I'll do them when I do them. 

I'm a creative person in every meaning of the word, and I love it. And I'd rather spend my time doing something else than worrying about my apartment being too messy. It'll always be messy, unless I get rid of everything I own. 

A friend of mine once said it was sort of endearing, when she saw my room. 

Yeah, I think so too ;)

Have a great weekend! <3

Inspiration!!!

Hi guys!!

Ah, I've been on constant blogging- and vlogging -mode for the last couple of days! You are yet to see the fruits of my labor, but I promise, I've been so active lately, yay! I have a whole list of ideas for videos (and I'm already working on the first one) and I've also been glued to my laptop and have been watching and following various YouTube Channels.

I hurt my back on Wednesday and am now just hanging out at home alone, at least until Sunday, and hopefully I'm able to return to work on Monday. Back pain is a b**ch, and it just sucks when you can't even drive a car because sitting up hurts soooo much. I am hoping to be in better shape soon, but this forced bed rest has given me a lot of time to think about stuff, so yay for productivity even when I'm sick!

I was perscriped two types of medicine, and my friend who was driving me around the other day, said that maybe when I'm all high with my pain meds I will get some inspiration and write my book. Hahaha, he was right, inspiration did strike!

This whole thing has taken away my appetite completely. Maybe it's just that all of my energy goes to getting better, so I'm not really consumed by regular things, like eating... haha, so weird, I don't know. But today I ate three pieces of bread in the morning and wasn't even hungry when I forced myself to eat a little more at 10pm. I'm just really not in the mood to eat right now. Maybe I'll end up losing a couple of pounds during this ordeal... oh well, there's always hope ;)

I truly hope you guys are doing better health wise, and I wish you a happy weekend :) Stay tuned!

-iira

Sometimes I feel like the Universe is messing with me.

Sometimes most of the time life just baffles me. The unpredictability of it. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow, you never know where you'll be a year from now. I didn't expect to be the way I am at 24, I didn't expect to be here at 24, I didn't expect... I don't really know what I expected. Something more, something less... Oh yeah, I expected to have a freakin' clue. 

The truth is, I don't think anyone's got it all figured out. Being content is one thing, but when you think about it, how many people are there who are totally and completely happy with the way their lives have turned out? I'm not unhappy, but could be doing better. Knowing I'll be stuck here this way for at least another year is both relaxing and tormenting. But seriously.. I need a way out. Rather sooner than later :) Don't think of me as a depressing person.. think of me as an adventurer who's resources to see the world are very limited right now. 

Writing gives me a great escape, which is one of the main reasons I want to blog. And I want to blog more regularly, but I'm going to need your help with that. I was thinking of topics the other night and here's what I came out:

The reason there's a "HAHA!" after hairdos, is that I suck big time when it comes to doing my hair. I can use a flat iron and a curling iron, but that's about it. I just wrote that down because it popped into my mind, and didn't really think it through. But I actually have a really nice hair! 

This is where you come in. What do you want to read about? (Or hear about? 'Cause the video is happening! Maybe even videos, as in plural!)  :)

Not dead

Oh my goodness... Sorry for not writing. Again. I feel bad :( sorrysorrysorry.

Blogging used to be one of my very favorite things to do, but lately I've been feeling like all the ideas just escaped from my head. I want to write, it's basically all I want to do, but there's nothing to write about!! I could tell you about the major writer's block that's been bothering me for too long, but writing about writer's block... meh.

My internet failed a couple of weeks ago, just stopped working. Both my laptop and iPad have the same carrier, which had some problems, but my phone has a different carrier and so I was able to run errands online (facebook) with my phone. Not having Netflix take all my time, I had to get creative. I got a lot of reading done (Stephen King's On Writing is uh-mazing!!) and worked on my novel. I'm not completely happy with what I came up with it and might just erase everything and start all over. But at least I'm writing something. There should be a way to transfer images from one's head to paper.

A while back I realized this summer is almost over (here in the arctic at least) and I have worked through most of it. I have vacation days that I'm saving for December, when I will be traveling to the States. Totally worth working for the summer, and despite my hectic work schedule I feel like I have improved my social life from what it used to be. At least my friends seem to know I exist nowadays ;)

So yeah.. That's what's up. There's always something. Sometimes I wish there was nothing.. Hope you're all having a good weekend :)

xxo

here comes the sun

We don't have leaves on the trees, but other than that, spring is here! About time!! Today was the first warm warm day, and for us, it means the temp was around 68°F in the sun. And I was working, of course! But I will have the next two days off, and I'm hoping to have a little me-time. I noticed I've been feeling a little down lately, due to stress and some uncleared business, but I know that when I just get to reset, I'll be fine :)

My plans for tomorrow and Wednesday include cleaning, writing, reading, cooking, redecorating my apartment a little for the summer, maybe drawing if I find my pencils, and watching a couple of movies. Oh, and doing a ton of laundry. Doesn't really sound like relaxing, right? Well, it can be. Basically, anything but going to work can be relaxing ;) I'm actually really looking forward to getting started! What's gone into me? I used to loath the idea of cleaning on my day off, but now I can't wait. I must be turning into my mother..

Well, I've had a long day, and it's almost time to turn in. But first I want to share a photo with you, that I took today on my way home from work.

The day light increases every day and this is how our 11pm looks like now :) I can't wait to have those 19 hours of daylight again. Summer is such a short season in Finland, and even though I'm aching to move away from here, I always picture myself coming back for the summers. They're pure magic.

Take care :)

-i

the spring is late

Hey y'all :)

I am dealing with a serious writer's block right now... that's my only reason for the lack of posts now. Also, I feel like I'm running out of ideas. "Already?!", you may think.. Well, I've been blogging for 2,5 years, so yeah :) Feel free to give me any ideas! Otherwise, I will post here asap... when I have a topic. I could start alphabet -posts? I did it in my old blog, Pandemonium, and it was fun. 

Well, anyhoo.. Oh, if you wanna find me on Instagram, my username is grasshopper89.

Any other Instagram-holics over there? I have to admit that it's got me totally hooked. At first I started out kinda slowly, but once I got the hang of it and started gaining followers, it turned out to be great fun. And it's so simple!! Just post pictures! It's amazing how one picture can capture so much. So in love with IG! Join, if you haven't already ;)

I have had a loooong day, and am about to start enjoying a little alone-time for the first time today. A free night, and I don't even have to get up early tomorrow. Evening shift at work! On Friday I'm off again, and hoping to get a hair cut. If that happens, then I'll definitely have something to write about on Friday ;) Yay! 

Can you believe it's May already?!

xxo,

iira

WHAT?!

When is a person an adult? What's the age limit? Is there such thing?

I am driving myself crazy trying to figure out my life. At 23, I'm going through some kind of a phase... Kind of trying to be young again. Well, I'm still young, but you know what I mean, right? When I was a teenager, I didn't have any major crises, I actually knew what I wanted. I read a lot, was doing well at school, never ditched a class.. okay, once I ditched P.E in High School, but I felt really guilty about it. 

Now I feel like I'm a little lost. Maybe not so little. A lot. Like, really lost.

So when does one have to have one's life in order?

Clearly, since I'm asking those questions, I haven't reached the magical stage of adulthood. It makes me feel a bit better about myself, like I still have time. That I don't have to have a perfect plan. Because the truth is, I really don't have one. I don't think I ever did. Just an idea, maybe. I'm not one of those people who have their 5-year- and 10-year- plans. Sure, in five years I'd love to have a safe, permanent job. Maybe be married. 

But I've always wanted to travel and see the world before I settle down. I've been lucky enough and have seen a lot already. But an opportunity has presented itself and I might have a whole new life ahead of me. Emphasis on the word might. It might or might not happen, but I'm hoping it will, even though I'm not quite sure how I feel about it, yet. I know it's irritating to say something like this and then not say anything else, but sorry, it's what I'm going to do. But I promise, when I know more, you know more. It shouldn't be more than a couple of months. 

I hope you all have a nice Saturday. I will leave for work in an hour! 

byyeee!

-iira